Reaching that point : A New Year Re-Solution

1.1.13 (ten years later)
At a certain point,

I have to accept my own loneliness.

Not embrace is like a scratchy scarf that keeps me warm,

But hold it in the light before me

And recognize it for what it is,

A ball of sadness.

At a certain point,

I have to accept that I am alone.

I can sit in a room full of loving friends,

But when the one I love ignores me,

I feel a deep desperation,

A longing for closeness.

It’s as if his darkness has driven away all the others.

At a certain point,

I have to accept that he cannot be there in a way that I clearly need.

If I am to stay,

Accepting this darkness into my life,

Can only exist if I find an even brighter light to shine

Into this empty space.

Resentment won’t be that leveler,

Nor will shame,

Which I know can only cage me into a cave.

Now look at me, I sound bluer than the deepest indigo.

At a certain point,

I have to accept that I have to look elsewhere for

Fulfillingness’ first finale,

And sadness’ last debut,

Else, it will steal the show.

At a certain point,

I’ve got to move on from these feelings,

Not succumb to my own sadness,

Not give into my own loneliness.

Thank goodness for music,

My constant companion.

...”Until the rainbow burns the stars out in the sky…”

Classic among stars.